“‘I love you’ means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you even when you’re in a bad mood, or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. ‘I love you’ means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping you feel the same way for me.”—Jonathan Safran Foer (via psych-quotes)
I really need help with this psychological research. What are your thoughts?
SEX SEX PENIS TITTIES SEX SEX
Now that I have your attention~
Here’s a scenerio:
You and a semi-friend co-worker are in charge of the same department. We will call your co-worker “T”.
Lately your department has been doing really poorly. You have been trying to take great care of them and the work assigned to your group, but they keep messing up.
Your boss tells you that she is no longer going to have both you and T in charge of the department, and she will pick just one to run it.
Your boss picks you.
T gets very angry at you. She has always loved running the department, because it gave her a sense of control. You know this, because she told you this herself. She told you that in her past, her family abandoned her, so she feels like she always needs to be in control and have a lot of attention now in her adult years.
You were always very nice to T and her two friends. You would often sit with them and offer them a helping hand if something was troubling them. Sometimes you would take them out for lunch too.
T is now very upset about the choice your boss made. She acts out. She says very rude things to you in front of everyone, she makes up things about you, and she does her best to spread nasty rumors about you that lack one bit of truth.
T continued to make up more and more hurtful things about you, and she keeps repeating them to your department members in attempts at getting them to turn against you and request that they put her in charge instead.
Your co-workers turn on you, believing the lies T had made up.
For a few months with T in charge, the performance of the department doesn’t get any better.
However, the department members are happier, because T has decided to take take half of their work and do it herself….this still doesn’t make things better though.
Your boss gets tired of the department failing…so she puts you back in charge on the condition that you go with T’s idea of talking on the responsibility of taking half of your co-workers work and doing it yourself. Your boss thinks that you can do this correctly and fix the company, unlike T.
You now have A LOT more work to do, and you HAVE to do it all, or else your department will shut down and you will be out of a job. Getting a new job is NOT an option either.
You are doing a good job with the extra work, but it is exhausting you terribly. It’s also making you quite depressed to know that your co-workers are unwilling to do the work themselves, even though they are capable of it. Every time you try and talk to them about doing it, T encourages them that they are actually unable to do the work themselves, and that it is your job to do half of it.
Things also become very stressful, because T will not leave you alone. She keeps degrading you more and more…and your boss simply doesn’t care.
You want to be the better person though.
What option would that be?
(A) You tell T off. You put your foot down, and tell her how it is. You stand up for yourself, and express your feelings. You tell her how hurt you are that she made those things up about you, and provide the facts on why she was wrong with what she did with the company as well.
Knowing T though, this is what she wants. If you rebuke her, you know she will not stop even more, and she will continue to create even more lies about you.
However, you know it would feel really good to get everything off your chest and tell T she is wrong, because T likes to intimate people, and she HATES it when people stand up to her (which is why you know she will just make things worse for you if you do).
(B) You just continue to swallow your pride and ignore T. The choice words you have are clawing to get out, but you’ve always been taught it takes a bigger person to “walk away”…this of course clashes with option (A), which was “always stand up for yourself.”
So far, you have been ignoring T, because you really do not like her or appreciate her anymore. You know that her worst fear is abandonment and not getting the attention she wants, so it kind of makes you feel good in a sadistic sense to do that to her.
At the same time, you really want to get it all out though…
I really don't like people who believe that it's not possible for someone to be attracted to both men and women.
Your ignorance is just showing [even more], and it displays that you can’t comprehend an understanding for people who have a broad enough mind and view on life to find a beauty and appreciation in both sexes.
This is the least of why I hate you all right now.
I got through A LOT of pages of this blog, saw much hate, many depressed posts, and these are my thoughts about all of it.
About self esteem. I used to compare myself with my friends who are good and some of them are popular artist. I felt bad about my work, wanted to stop, asked myself why did I want to aply to art school since everybody in this school is better than me.
And then I started taking art classes and going to psychologist.
My art teacher is a really good person. He taught me that art is something more than just drawing, it’s whole process, it’s not only looking, it’s observing. It’s not about getting everything right at the first attempt, it’s about trying and having fun. I learned that drawing made to look perfectly like a model can be not as good as drawing maybe worse technically but made with THOUGHT. And then I started looking at drawings of people on deviantart, and found out that some of those popular ones who are recognised as ‘good artists’ are actually drawing mindlessly. They draw, but there is nothing to it. There is no soul in their art. It’s pretty but… nothing more.
And when I started going to psychologist, all depressed about my skill level, she (btw person who has nothing to do with art) told me only to compare with my younger self. She told me that nothing comes from comparing myself to others and if I do that, I will gain nothing, only feel bad. So I took her advice and looked at my older art. Even if I made a very little progress, I MADE SOME. And that applies to every one of you. Don’t be depressed about your art. You like drawing, so keep doing it! If you like it, you will surelly improve, even if that’s a slow process.
tl;dr: it’s basically a ‘cheer up’ post for those who think they don’t improve and they should leave art. It’s story of how I became a better artist by stopping to compare myself with others and realising that art is what I like to do.
I used to love singing “Save The World Tonight” by Swedish House Mafia. Now I can’t, because I can’t stop crying ever since I decided to watch the music video for it since it hit a little too close to home ;_;