if you are actually stupid enough to make fun of someone’s social anxiety, or any mental illness in general, or tell them they’re lying and that they are perfectly fine while they sit there shaking and trying not to cry because they don’t know how to handle a situation, I most likely hate you and you should just get the fuck out.
Most likely? I DO hate you.
things that won’t cure mental illness
- threatening the person
- guilt tripping the person
- making the person feel like it’s their fault
- ignoring the person
- calling their behaviors “weird”, “gross”, “annoying”, “stupid”
because you’re actually making the problem 400 times worse, thanks
i think most invisible disabilities feel like this. my adhd feels like this, autistic overload feels like this, my arthritis feels like this unless it’s bad enough that i’m limping that day.
O wow it’s like the fox takes the part of people outside the computer, then the mouse is online friends.
In a recent post I made on FB about being depressed and I was told to “fake it till you make it” which of course came from someone who does not suffer from a mental illness.
Some depression is linked to real illness, or a reaction to medication, or other factors that simply nodding and smiling won’t fix. Chemical imbalances aren’t cured by pretending everything is great. While I think putting on a brave face and trying to consciously alter your frame of mind into a positive one is a good idea, think the real step here is seeking the help one needs to suit their individual case. Whether it truly is of a clinical variety or something a friendly ear will help with, validation is paramount to recovery.
Yes, our language creates our reality, but some things are not so easily smiled away.
I’ve always hated that “advice”. It’s great if it works for some people, but it’s not the answer to everything and all types of mental illnesses (as Lactoria noted) …, or illnesses in general for that matter.
It’s a psychological trick, “pretend you’re happy enough, and your brain will eventually think you are happy, so you will be happy.” Except … with mental illness, the chemicals in your brain are off, and mix that with medication side effects … what will work for a “normal” person, rarely works for someone with [permanent] brain damage.
I have found /that saying/ to always be said by people who do not suffer from mental illness, too … and believe me when I’m saying that I’ve heard it a lot.
It’s not only their lack of empathy in the matter, but I also can’t help but to feel rather bitter by it.
Yes, they /may/ be trying to help … but to me, it just sounds like, “Smile and pretend you’re happy, so that we don’t have to listen to you and put up with your shit.”
There are two reasons why an artists’ work would be improving when it comes to adding more details.
(1) They are growing as an artist, developing their skills on a deeper level through hard work, studying, and practice.
(2) They are just becoming more OCD with increased anxiety.
What one do you think I am?
TRIGGER WARNING-Talk of suicide & suicidal ideation.
Since there are now apparently quite a few people that are wondering how ‘crazy’ people that snap & do very, very violent things are allowed to walk around among the rest of society, there is a reason why. Mental healthcare in this country sucks. SUCKS.
In emergency rooms & crisis centers all over the country, people that are KNOWN to be either suicidal or completely psychotic are sent home. Some are told to come back ‘once they do something’. You can sit there & beg them to please keep you because you know it is not safe for you to be out in the world at that moment, & they’ll send you packing with what equates to a pat on the head. This is especially true for people without health insurance.
If you leave the ER, go to the parking lot, down a few bottles of pills & then walk back inside to tell them that you have overdosed, the people that not half an hour ago sent you away because you weren’t ‘sick’ enough for them to think they should keep you suddenly decide that you may just be serious about wanting to die.
This country does things for people in mental health crisis in a reactionary manner. We’re doing it backwards. Our jails are full of mentally ill people that are there because there is nowhere else to put them. There aren’t ‘enough beds’ in most psych wards in this country. There are counties that don’t even have a psych ward, so being committed requires travel of an hour or more. Psychotropic drugs are very, very expensive, & sometimes the only way you can get those drugs is on a ward/in the ER. Something that should be simple-going to see a psychologist-take 1974631 hoops to jump through before you can see one.
Gathering up the bravery to ask for help in times of mental health crisis is very, very difficult, & when you’re told to come back once you’ve actually attempted suicide or become actively homicidal, it kinda defeats the purpose of reaching out for medical mental healthcare help in the first place.
The whole mental health system in the US is seriously fucked. Even if you manage to “get in” to a hospital or psyche ward without doing something extreme first, they DON’T help you…at least in all of my experiences, and I’ve been to different ones.
People leave there coming out worse than when they went in, due to the ill-treatment and abuse that goes on there.
To also comment on what OP said, the last time I had one of my lovely stays, there was a girl that came in after me. She took over 45 pills of hard narcotics.
I took about 10 extra pills than what I was suppose to, and did the cutting thing.
Well EVERYONE wanted to get out of there the second they were put in there…even if they committed themselves.
We all tried begging to get out with the doctors every meeting we had.
Said girl who took 45+ pills got the usual doctor lecture, “You took over 45 pills, and you want to leave tomorrow? You tried to commit suicide, and now you’re saying you’re fine? You know I’m having a hard time believing that, but if you say that you are fine now, then we can let you go.”
Well…since that particular ward didn’t offer us even board games or television, the only thing we had to do was talk to one another. There was ONE cool nurse out of everyone, and so the nurse and the girl were talking to me after she got her lecture, because I was really upset they still wouldn’t let me out for only taking 10 pills and cutting, after already being in there for 3 days.
The nurse said the real reason why they were pushing the girl out like that, was because she didn’t have insurance.
Meanwhile, I have insurance that covered me…I was in there for 8 days.
…And I’m not going to once again bore you all with writing about the stuff that goes on in places like that, but I came out of there WORSE.
Seriously, the mental health system is so fucked, and no one is doing a damn thing about it (except for few authors like Emilie Autumn, I guess), because no one gives a fucking shit since “it shouldn’t matter”, because these people are just crazy and insane. They don’t know the difference, nor do they deserve to be treated humanely.
So the US waits for mentally ill people to be thrown in prison, because it’s more profitable.
You keep your MENTAL ILLNESS a secret. You don’t talk about it, because you’ve learned that society views you as nothing more than an ATTENTION-SEEKING STAIN. You’ve learned that people see you as pathetic, lazy, and CRAZY…well, you are, aren’t you? You’ve learned that people treat you DIFFERENTLY once they find out you have to take MEDICATION for all your mental sicknesses—all of them. They call you “worthless” and “freak”. They don’t treat you as an equal. You are less than the normal people of the world.
So you wear long sleeves and pants every season of the year. You tell people you like getting PIERCINGS and TATTOOS because you think they are cool, rather than the truth that the sting of the needles help you not CUT for just a little bit. You tell people that you work from home, instead of informing them that you’re unable have a job, because your anxiety, paranoia, anger, depression, OCD, and insomnia leaves you unfit to function in a normal life style. When you try to PRETEND to be like a normal person, you always end up SUICIDAL and in a mental institution.
You fall in love easily, and you are actually a hopeless romantic. You want nothing more than to have a partner for life, and people think it’s quite WEIRD that you enjoy watching romcoms so much, but yet you are single, especially because your looks on the outside are pretty ADORABLE. You know you’re not in a relationship because no one would ever be able to handle having one with someone like you, or they would leave you the moment they saw one of your cuts. The only reason why you are physically appealing is due to the fact that you also have an eating DISORDER along with everything else that is WRONG with your head. So you push them away, getting angry at both them and yourself.
Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you are a WORTHLESS FREAK who is a stain on society,
You have blood in the night, and you will die younger than everyone else you know.
I was browsing the Humanstuck tag…I see Karkat mostly portrayed as either having red hair or being albino in order to keep the idea that he is different from everyone else.
In my head, he looks pretty standard (save for the piercing and tats) on the outside, because in canon, he appears like any of the other trolls physically. He is a mutant (a freak) because of his blood color, as deemed by their society. So it is something hidden, that someone wouldn’t know unless told (or if he was bleeding).
Humanstuck…People with mental disorders can appear pretty normal…you know that quote you always see, “She’s smiling on the outside, but she’s crying on the inside”. If you, or anyone you know, struggles with mental illness[es], then you probably, sadly, know how our society views and treats people who have these issues.
I think that the reason that so many Tumblrites have lots of issues with depression and sadness and anxiety is that we are a creative, expressive bunch of people, and that kind of brain usually comes at the cost of personal mental health.
Seriously, look at anyone who has created some work of art that you love. All of these songs and paintings and comics and writing comes from people who have had to wrestle with their own brain time and time and time again. They are able to do what they do because they have the kind of talent and intelligence and empathy that enables work that speaks to people. You can’t make something so powerful if you don’t have humility, if you don’t have understanding of what it means to feel like shit sometimes and to deal with that constructively by making art. Whether you think it’s crappy or whatever is irrelevant— you have to put these things out there because it’s better to have it out in the world than causing a ruckus inside your brain.
Not gonna lie, I feel kind of hypocritical right now because I have (and still do) deal with a lot of issues of self-esteem and depression and the like. I’m one of these people who are “all down on themselves”. But I think that, as shitty as those things are and no matter how much I hate it, having that experience makes me want to understand and help and experience other people even more. It makes me see all of you talented, amazing people who are so interesting and funny and kind and smart and who can’t see these things in themselves and want to shooshpap you until you understand that yes, you are all of these things.
You’re fucking awesome. You’re the kind of people that write the stories and create the worlds that people fall in love with, that make fandom possible.
And even if you feel like crap, that crap is something that can be a resource. It can be the fodder for your creative brain that probably doesn’t shut up at night— so get out of bed and write or draw or play something and put those thoughts outside of yourself and come back to them some other time.
And don’t be afraid to get help. I resisted therapy for years and years and when I finally gave in and went, it turned out to be one of the best things I ever did with my life. Same goes for medication— it’s exactly the same as putting a cast on a broken leg, or physical therapy for an injury. It’s not a crutch and it’s not a cure-all, but it’s a tool to help you with a problem that isn’t just in your head. It’s not your fault, but you can do something about it. Get help. It’s not weakness. It takes more strength to get help than it does to use the inertia of “no I’ve got to handle this on my own” to justify staying in the same rut.
I could go on and on about drama and relationship woes and things of that nature, but I won’t, because I don’t know your lives. However, I do know that you can’t give up. No matter how much you don’t want to get out of bed, you can’t give up. Even if continuing on is just a way to say “Fuck you” to depression and anxiety, that’s enough.
I can’t make you see things in yourself that you don’t see, but I just want you all to know that even if you can’t see it there are other people out there who believe in you, and who know that their belief is not misplaced. We know because we’ve seen the beautiful things that you write and make and those kind of things don’t come from people who aren’t creative and empathetic and worth getting to know.
Also, just so you know, I’m digitally hugging you so hard right now.
I love every word of this.
people are very accepting of depression and anxiety and other mental illness until they run across someone who doesn’t fit the narrative of “aw poor sad beautiful shy girl who’s perfect in every way except she can’t see it but if you tell her you love her she’ll magically be cured”
because guess what it’s not that easy it’s not that simple it doesn’t work that way
mentally ill people are hard to deal with
we are by turns annoying and aggressive and shy and manic and depressed
we are not always fun to be around
we are difficult
and guess what? telling us we’re beautiful or we shouldn’t feel sad or we’re loved isn’t going to magically fix that
and god forbid we be crazy in a way that’s irritating to you
because the same people who claim to be there “if anyone needs anything at all!!!! <333” are usually the ones who are dismissive, cruel, who laugh when, god forbid, someone ISN’T that shy, sad, broken teenage girl who just needs someone to love her
and that acceptance ends abruptly when our mental illness becomes inconvenient
and that’s just fucked up.
This is exactly how I was viewed by several people in my life…and then when they realized “Oh, she wasn’t kidding.”…tch.
Note to self, for future SO…be sure to let your bleeding-cuts-scars-and-crying show to SO and their family/friends a week into the relationship, not four years later in order to know if you would be wasting more years of your life or not ahead of them.
Shaming people who take medication for mental illness kills.
I didn’t go on any medication for YEARS because my dad spouted off about “happy pills” and zombification and such.
I’m hardly the only person who’s been through similar.
Indeed, I only started medication after fighting my way through many, many screaming matches with my father and marching him to the doctor so the doctor could explain how the pills work.
I am lucky that I had the strength then to fight. Dealing with a mental illness and having to cope with unsupportive, shaming awfulness? That asks for energy that many people do not have, because being mentally ill is fucking exhausting.
If you want to attack big pharma, then fucking attack big pharma. Stop pointing your guns at us.
Dealing with a mental illness andhaving to cope with unsupportive, shaming awfulness
It’s true. No one wants to be with or around a broken girl, even your own family.
I’m sorry…I still can’t draw that well…I’m still missing my flame or something, but I wanted to draw my protagonist to my novel.
Yeah, I know what it says is “angsty teen DA shit”, but I’m writing this for young readers ♥
My current outlet when I am feeling extra down or need that boost of inspiration to write, has been to just listen to Emilie Autumn’s music or to just listen to an interview or something of hers.
I wish she was more well known, because I think this clip (15-20 mins) would be a privilege for so many of those people to see, like on DA or wherever, who wish to be in a mental institution or psyche ward.
Honestly, yeah…I don’t know if I should feel pathetic or not by needing /this/ to “come out”…but I was not being direct before when I said that “but I needed it” when talking about getting out of the psyche ward.
I just didn’t feel like talking about it once again. The only thing going there helped me with was getting me back on eating, because it was most interesting thing to do there…though that is even worthless now, as I’ve gone back to that sport of not eating and vomiting again….and then the few days of pretending to be slightly better to try and erase it…just didn’t help either…obviously with my posts.
Part of the reason why I took a turn for the worse a week or so after getting out of there is exactly what Emilie talks about here…going to such places does make you worse. I had the same treatment that I got the last time, except worse…because there weren’t ANY therapists on staff here…they were just baby sitter nurses. You had no one to talk to but your fellow patients.
I even had one nurse tell me that everything was my fault, and that I deserved to have been left, and that she didn’t blame him for leaving. “I would have done it too if I were with you.” She said…
Which is part of why I got so much worse, because I kept hearing her words in my head, and it just further reinstated that I’m crazy.
The first thing the doctors did when I got there was take me off ALL my medication, saying, “Well these obviously aren’t working, or else you wouldn’t have cut yourself or tried to commit suicide to begin with.” …So I went through withdraw, to the point where I got so dizzy one night, that I fell and hit my head, getting a black eye. Did they care? No.
When I committed myself, half dead, I walked into the hospital and talked to the doctor on staff in the ER after they treated me. I have been through “the system” before, and I knew that I NEVER wanted to go through that treatment again. So when he asked me, “How would you feel about staying in the psyche ward upstairs?”
I was sure to play 20 questions with him, saying I would not go if <insert everything I wrote about before in my tumblr when talking about being in the mental institution>.
He smiled, placed his hand on mine, and said, “I assure you. It’s nothing like that at all! It’s a lot more personal. You can even have your own clothing and belongings there.”
I believed him..since I have a problem of believing people too easily…and I figured he was telling the truth since this was just a ward compared to an institution.
The moment I got there, they too my stuff away, threw robes at me, took out all my piercings, and made me strip…watching my every move, of course, a male and female…it was exactly like the institution all over again…they wouldn’t even let me wear underwear….at least when I was in the institution, I could have my underwear on.
I got really upset and cried about how the doctor lied to me, and they told me to “stop complaining”…no one really did want to talk to you there…
I thought several times about writing up what happened there for the paper or hospital review, the things that went on in the ward, but I haven’t…because (1) I didn’t think people would care, and (2) As stated in the video…”You’re the crazy girl.”…no one would believe me.
…And I’ll say it again, my friends here on tumblr and on the Internet and have helped me and supported me more than anyone…thank you.