«What's Left For A Dead Man?»

Welp, that’s how I feel, except replace “yaoi” with “Scout” :o

~~Someone help me detach him from that douche oh dear god wtf~~

Reblogged from misslitchi

Sep 29, 2012

My current outlet when I am feeling extra down or need that boost of inspiration to write, has been to just listen to Emilie Autumn’s music or to just listen to an interview or something of hers.

I wish she was more well known, because I think this clip (15-20 mins) would be a privilege for so many of those people to see, like on DA or wherever, who wish to be in a mental institution or psyche ward.

Honestly, yeah…I don’t know if I should feel pathetic or not by needing /this/ to “come out”…but I was not being direct before when I said that “but I needed it” when talking about getting out of the psyche ward.

I just didn’t feel like talking about it once again. The only thing going there helped me with was getting me back on eating, because it was most interesting thing to do there…though that is even worthless now, as I’ve gone back to that sport of not eating and vomiting again….and then the few days of pretending to be slightly better to try and erase it…just didn’t help either…obviously with my posts.

Part of the reason why I took a turn for the worse a week or so after getting out of there is exactly what Emilie talks about here…going to such places does make you worse. I had the same treatment that I got the last time, except worse…because there weren’t ANY therapists on staff here…they were just baby sitter nurses. You had no one to talk to but your fellow patients.

I even had one nurse tell me that everything was my fault, and that I deserved to have been left, and that she didn’t blame him for leaving. “I would have done it too if I were with you.” She said…

Which is part of why I got so much worse, because I kept hearing her words in my head, and it just further reinstated that I’m crazy.

The first thing the doctors did when I got there was take me off ALL my medication, saying, “Well these obviously aren’t working, or else you wouldn’t have cut yourself or tried to commit suicide to begin with.” …So I went through withdraw, to the point where I got so dizzy one night, that I fell and hit my head, getting a black eye. Did they care? No.

When I committed myself, half dead, I walked into the hospital and talked to the doctor on staff in the ER after they treated me. I have been through “the system” before, and I knew that I NEVER wanted to go through that treatment again. So when he asked me, “How would you feel about staying in the psyche ward upstairs?”

I was sure to play 20 questions with him, saying I would not go if <insert everything I wrote about before in my tumblr when talking about being in the mental institution>.

He smiled, placed his hand on mine, and said, “I assure you. It’s nothing like that at all! It’s a lot more personal. You can even have your own clothing and belongings there.”

I believed him..since I have a problem of believing people too easily…and I figured he was telling the truth since this was just a ward compared to an institution.

The moment I got there, they too my stuff away, threw robes at me, took out all my piercings, and made me strip…watching my every move, of course, a male and female…it was exactly like the institution all over again…they wouldn’t even let me wear underwear….at least when I was in the institution, I could have my underwear on.

I got really upset and cried about how the doctor lied to me, and they told me to “stop complaining”…no one really did want to talk to you there…

I thought several times about writing up what happened there for the paper or hospital review, the things that went on in the ward, but I haven’t…because (1) I didn’t think people would care, and (2) As stated in the video…”You’re the crazy girl.”…no one would believe me.

…And I’ll say it again, my friends here on tumblr and on the Internet and have helped me and supported me more than anyone…thank you.

Sep 25, 2012

my-pretties:

artist-confessions:

I just really hate it when people overprice art. It may be good art…but not wroth $12. Even if its really money, or points (from DA). I’m not trying to sound rude, but i know a lot of people who overprice they’re commissions, and most are famous.

submitted by -kawaiiansteve

Uhhh… would you work for less than minimum wage?

There’s this horrible expectation that artists do things for free or for a ridiculously low price because it’s “not work” and “you love doing it, right?”

It’s frustrating and it’s created an environment where artists have to constantly undersell themselves.

Reblogged from whatevermancy

source: artist-confessions

Jul 18, 2012

all1sees:

littleturtleduck:

shank-flank:

misspumpkiin:

stop reminding me deviantart

batman is a huge asshole

No I’m not, Batman.

But I am with my parents.

^^^^ fucking OW

Reblogged from hotbutterpopcorn

source: maltair

Jul 15, 2012

Fuckers. The first (and probably last) time I did a Kiriban, I got 3 people who apparently won it.

It’s a crappy feeling when you have to weed through your “friends” and watchers to figure out who is honest or not…

Reblogged from deviantartconfessions

Jun 27, 2012

Reblogged from deviantartconfessions

Jun 22, 2012

Me too…I have a couple people purely from DA who comment a bit, but most of the time it’s just about 3 irl friends that comment. It makes me feel like 90% of my watchers are the people who watch bad artists “just for the lulz” :(

Reblogged from deviantartconfessions

Jun 4, 2012

artist-confessions: "Emo"

artist-thoughts:

artist-confessions:

I hate seeing the word “emo” used on DeviantArt. I’ve seen it in group titles, art titles, literature, people’s names, in OC descriptions, everywhere. Especially when people have descriptions of their OC’s like “My OC cuts them self everyday (:”. It really hurts to know that the community that…

I don’t self-harm/never have, but I feel this post is important enough to reblog. There’s nothing wrong with having depressed characters, but there’s something very wrong if you’re treating it like a good thing.

This. I’m apathetic to self-harm or suicide jokes, as I’m apathetic to any topic joke as long as it’s not targeting a person in particular, but boy…does it really piss me off when people…as the op said, treat this stuff as a game or a good thing. I know I ranted about this a lot, the way people flaunt their [self-diagnosed] mental illness and act like it’s cool, or how it would be “awesome to be in a mental ward”, so I’ll save you from going off about that again.

I
Just
Don’t
Understand
This
Fad.

Then there are the people who self/fake-harm and take pictures of it and post it. Some say it’s empowering, but as I said…I don’t fucking get it, and it makes me mad that thy take pride in that stuff. I photoshop my scars out of pictures of me before I post them! Just this past year I’ve allowed myself to write about my issues, because of the way I’ve noticed people goin on about how “cool” it is to have these illnesses. Before I would go as far as to say “I’m normal”.

Do you actually know what it’s like to be medically diagnosed? Do you actually know what it’s like to have these issues? It’s a curse. People treat you like a plague, and you see a plague in the world that “no one else can”.

Reblogged from imay-atokous

source: artist-confessions

May 23, 2012

miss-tetra:

artist-confessions:

Of course, who am I to stop people from doing certaint things or whatever, this is just my point of view and you have the right to disagree. I don’t even like anime, but what you call “style” does not define how original your art is. Art@ Emperpep.deviantart.com (first one) Deen, Bee Train, Bihada Ichizoku, Hellsing. Hell, “manga style” is not even one single style.

Learn proper grammar and spelling; then I’ll take you and your confession seriously.

Because I’m swaying between “I’m irritable and IDAF” mood, I’ll throw my antagonistic opinion in of agreeing with OP.

I honestly think that people like this, the ones who find a need to constantly bash anime and anime artists (or any art style), are way worse than the weeaboos going around “DESUNE”. I find the elitist [anime is all the same/not real art] art snobs so much more annoying than the, “but I dun wanna draw anatomy cus anime is kawaii!”

And THAT is why I have a bad attitude.

Reblogged from miss-tetra

source: artist-confessions

Mar 25, 2012

What to do?

Without going into revealing details, there is a pretty large group that I am a co-creator of to a particular fandom/show on DA. In fact, it is DA’s largest group for the particular series.

Lately the founder and a few other mods/co-creators are getting annoyed with the amount of yaoi/slash the group has been receiving.

In our admin area, in a private discussion, some comments are being made that are really getting under my skin. I’m replacing any revealing information with asterisks.

“The fluff kind that looks more like their good friends, I’ll allow to stay, but the hardcore yaoi needs to go.”

”I get disgusted when I see hardcore yaoi “***”. For crying out loud,*** single and straight AND *** is married to his wife then let’s not forget he has his daughter, ***.

So just because it disgusts you, you want to ban it from the group? Also, that particular guy has never officially claimed his sexuality out loud. While it is likely he IS straight, it’s not right for you to say it like it’s law, especially with said guy has made SEVERAL slashy jokes between him and his friend (WHICH is why so much slash art exists of it).

“Now whenever “***” is even mentioned, I gag with the thought because of the horrific things people create between *** and ***.

Even worse then hormonely-stressed girls hooking up with ***.”

Now, In my opinion, the slash fans have been way more mature than the “hormonely-stressed girls” of the fandom. We KNOW that these two people are not actually a couple, and we don’t deny that one of the guys is married and has a kid. However, I’ve had several friends on Facebook who fall under the “hormonely-stressed girls”, and I would always see things like, “Even though *** doesn’t know I exist yet, we will get married some day!” or, “Good night ***, I am pretending I am sleeping next to you tonight.”

And finally:

“I didn’t create it for yaoi. ”

Fine, that’s cool…but it is really disheartening when you allow straight pairings/oc’s but not gay ones. That really seems homophobic. Not to mention, it is also the biggest group on DA for this series.

I gave my thoughts in the thread as politely as I could manage, and I said that it wouldn’t be a smart move on the group’s part to outright deny yaoi/slash, because I have seen backlash that other groups get when they do this.

I suggested that, if the group does not want yaoi, then they should say that ANY gender pairing mature images are not allowed, even het ones.

I haven’t gotten a reply yet…and I’ll be honest and say that I WILL leave that group COMPLETELY if they put this “no yaoi slash” rule in place, because I WILL NOT be associated with something that is so blatantly homophobic.

And this is the part where I’m asking “what to do”, because the more I read these comments by my fellow mods, the more I feel really irritated and dismayed. I feel like I want to leave the group completely due to how they are talking right now…but I do have high participation in this group with its members at the same time.

Several people have often found my own DA page and befriended me in saying that they saw I was a co-creator of this certain group too.

Feb 16, 2012

It always freaks me out whenever I get a huge spike in Deviantart pageviews for one day only….like 3 x’s my normal hits. I always want to know where and why when this happens.

Does anyone else get this way, or am I just a paranoid harridan?

Dec 5, 2011

Because I have a feeling my comment is going to get hidden or “marked as spam”…I’m reposting it here….

Not to be rude, but I strongly disagree with this. You should (1) not be encouraging people to just practice the female figure, and (2) encouraging people to draw this chauvinistic view of women.

An artist must practice BOTH male and female anatomy. While I DO agree with you in some points of this “tutorial” such as each line as a purpose and wight balancing, you cannot just ignore practicing the male figure. There are some great difference between the man and woman body that requires an artist to take special care of both. One example is that men have a longer mid-section than females.

To say things like, “Those who focus primarily on males will have a far greater difficulty achieving feminine beauty and sexiness…” is just kind of insulting, because both the male and female body have their own beauty to them. It only further makes me believe that you really somewhat care only about a socially-acceptable media, model-perfect view of women.

This tutorial and your gallery also tells me that, and it saddens me that THIS was published. In art school, we had meaty women AND men to practice…and seeing the figure fully with both muscle AND fat helps one in their anatomy.

This “tutorial” seems like it’s right out of a Rob Liefeld “how to draw” book, because all your models seem to be missing…well…organs. Also, tip #5….I’m sorry, but her spine would be in so much pain if a woman was actually that portioned and posed like that….same with #12. While it is true that the hip and shoulders go the opposite direction of one another, your woman “punching upwards” appears as if her upper body is about to completely disconnect…

Just like Rob Liefeld, too, all these woman have little feet and are standing in heels.

I’m not saying this is completely wrong, but it’s just kind of sad that this has a daily deviation and so much praise when it is clearly has some wrong information on it, and it is made by someone who glorifies the sexist-view on women…

———————————————————————————————————Yes, I mad. Yes, I still don’t have my own computer.

source: warrenlouw.deviantart.com

Aug 24, 2011