«What's Left For A Dead Man?»

This fucking area.

I was at the diner around 3 AM this morning with a couple friends, and I was drawing in my sketchbook. The waitress, a woman our age, says she has the same sketchbook as me, and she kind of gets excited talking about drawing, so I ask if I could see some of her art.

She gives me her sketchbook and I look through it. It’s a lot of flowery designs and some kawaii-style anime doodles.

Meanwhile, I’m like, “Oh um…I wonder what I have that I can show you.” Since you know, my art is…not work safe.

I think I have ONE pic on my phone that I can show.

So I’m looking through them, and Andy is sitting next to me. The one of where Kankri is ass-fucking Karkat over the bucket saying “Good boy” is on there, and I say, “No, definitely can’t show that one.”

The waitress asks, “Why?”

“It’s inappropriate and sexual.”

“Oh it’s fiiiiine! You wouldn’t believe the amount of inappropiateness that goes on in this diner and the sexual stuff around here.”

I am still shaking my head no, but then Andy grabs my phone out of my hand and shows it to her.

Oh

my

god.

The look on her face—

She even did that thing where people clutch at their chest/heart. She didn’t say anything.

Obviously

the amount of inappropriateness and sexual things that go on “around here”, does not equal up to what is in my head, and it has the power to shock people who have even “been around it all”.

Apr 30, 2013

Sup,
Me, currently. So now I’ve lost a total of 50lbs. I’m not bragging, nor am I waving this pic around going, “LOOK AT MEEEE~~~”…I’m actually going to complain (what else is new, I know).
This is the thinnest I’ve ever been in my adult years. I can’t say that I’m feeling “really healthy and good” with my weight, because I know the weight loss is a result of other health-related issues that in turn, doesn’t make my body feel “So healthy and good!”.
The only thing that I am really enjoying about my weight loss is that I now have more verity of clothes to pick from thanks to the industries obnoxious standards.
The other thing that is…lets say…bitter sweet…is that I keep getting hit on now, non stop. It makes me feel kind of sad, because as flattered as I initially feel, the second after my head goes, “You know you never got hit on like this when you were heavier. Unless it was the ring on your finger.”
I know this is really shallow of me, but every guy that is all up in me is not my type at all. It’s either typical bros (average weight guy with a buzz or crew cut), or the large, 40+ year old man missing some teeth….I guess that describes this area though…
Well, there was the on Irish boy I met at Bingo that pretty much looks like a clone of my ex -_-….but I knew I had to cut off contact there…it was just…awkward. Fucking scouts all look the same.
Then there is Steve from the Library…who…isn’t exactly a bro or a beer-belly hick, but I don’t know. This whole “BE MORE SOCIAL AND GO OUTSIDE” thing that I am forcing myself to do is just difficult. I’ve never been like this before, and quite frankly I find it exhausting to be talking to people so much. It’s also really uncomfortable, since it feels like everyone who I am talking to all wants to be up in my crib D: of course except for the one guy at the mall who I wouldn’t mind?
Again, I’m NOT trying to brag or ass pat myself, it’s rather the opposite. I’m getting this out, because I feel uncomfortable and somewhat bitter about how people seem to only find me attractive now since I’m thin (?)
I also want to write about what happened today, because it was kind of funny.
My phone really started to glitch up, so I’ve been talking to the Sprint guy at the mall about it lately. I actually have FUN talking to him compared to everyone else who I have been forcing myself to, like it doesn’t feel like a chore—-anyway, he got me a new phone and didn’t make me pay for it, despite not having insurance on my original one ♥
So it came in today, and as I was walking into the mall, one of the 40+ hicks started to stare at me. I don’t care. I am used to stares with the way I dress. Only he bolts for the door and says, “I’ll hold the door for you.” I smile and thank him. It’s nice to see people with manners.
As I go for the next set of doors, he yells, “Wait! Let me get that one too.” Suddenly I’m thinking that this is going to be another one /those/ guys. So I nod and I allow him to get the door for me, not wanting to be rude.
Then he starts to FOLLOW me into the mall, “You look real nice today, you know.”
“Thank you….” I pick up my pace, so does he.
“Your hair is so gorgeous.”
“….”
“I love your boots too.” And then I bolted towards the Sprint stand and started my business, Nick (the guy that works there) just was like, “wtf” at the guy and said out loud, “What a creeper!” So that the guy could hear (keep in mind, this guy was like 40-50 years old)…and the guy got flustered and walked away. “Only in the Phillipsburg mall would you find creepers that are out of the closet.”
God, this area…I really need to move…or maybe just go back to eating gallons of ice cream today so that I go back to being undesirable -_-

Sup,

Me, currently. So now I’ve lost a total of 50lbs. I’m not bragging, nor am I waving this pic around going, “LOOK AT MEEEE~~~”…I’m actually going to complain (what else is new, I know).

This is the thinnest I’ve ever been in my adult years. I can’t say that I’m feeling “really healthy and good” with my weight, because I know the weight loss is a result of other health-related issues that in turn, doesn’t make my body feel “So healthy and good!”.

The only thing that I am really enjoying about my weight loss is that I now have more verity of clothes to pick from thanks to the industries obnoxious standards.

The other thing that is…lets say…bitter sweet…is that I keep getting hit on now, non stop. It makes me feel kind of sad, because as flattered as I initially feel, the second after my head goes, “You know you never got hit on like this when you were heavier. ~~Unless it was the ring on your finger.”~~

I know this is really shallow of me, but every guy that is all up in me is not my type at all. It’s either typical bros (average weight guy with a buzz or crew cut), or the large, 40+ year old man missing some teeth….I guess that describes this area though…

Well, there was the on Irish boy I met at Bingo that pretty much looks like a clone of my ex -_-….but I knew I had to cut off contact there…it was just…awkward. Fucking scouts all look the same.

Then there is Steve from the Library…who…isn’t exactly a bro or a beer-belly hick, but I don’t know. This whole “BE MORE SOCIAL AND GO OUTSIDE” thing that I am forcing myself to do is just difficult. I’ve never been like this before, and quite frankly I find it exhausting to be talking to people so much. It’s also really uncomfortable, since it feels like everyone who I am talking to all wants to be up in my crib D: o~~f course except for the one guy at the mall who I wouldn’t mind?~~

Again, I’m NOT trying to brag or ass pat myself, it’s rather the opposite. I’m getting this out, because I feel uncomfortable and somewhat bitter about how people seem to only find me attractive now since I’m thin (?)

I also want to write about what happened today, because it was kind of funny.

My phone really started to glitch up, so I’ve been talking to the Sprint guy at the mall about it lately. I actually have FUN talking to him compared to everyone else who I have been forcing myself to, like it doesn’t feel like a chore—-anyway, he got me a new phone and didn’t make me pay for it, despite not having insurance on my original one ♥

So it came in today, and as I was walking into the mall, one of the 40+ hicks started to stare at me. I don’t care. I am used to stares with the way I dress. Only he bolts for the door and says, “I’ll hold the door for you.” I smile and thank him. It’s nice to see people with manners.

As I go for the next set of doors, he yells, “Wait! Let me get that one too.” Suddenly I’m thinking that this is going to be another one /those/ guys. So I nod and I allow him to get the door for me, not wanting to be rude.

Then he starts to FOLLOW me into the mall, “You look real nice today, you know.”

“Thank you….” I pick up my pace, so does he.

“Your hair is so gorgeous.”

“….”

“I love your boots too.” And then I bolted towards the Sprint stand and started my business, Nick (the guy that works there) just was like, “wtf” at the guy and said out loud, “What a creeper!” So that the guy could hear (keep in mind, this guy was like 40-50 years old)…and the guy got flustered and walked away. “Only in the Phillipsburg mall would you find creepers that are out of the closet.”

God, this area…I really need to move…or maybe just go back to eating gallons of ice cream today ~~so that I go back to being undesirable -_-~~

Aug 31, 2012

Ignoring the spechul snowflake crusaders, I was just talking about this tonight.

I consider the average person (in MY area) to be pathetic, stupid, and “boring as fuck”. Now, before I get the snowflake hunters on my ass, I’ll say that this is because I live in NJ…so everyone here, and on the boarder of PA, are the YOLO dumbasses.

All my life I was the “weird freak”…and I cannot figure out for the life of me…as this is something I’ve been contemplating since, as to WHY the party life style is considered high status and awesome.

I just seriously don’t get it, and I would love it if someone COULD explain the physiology of it to me! What is so great about going out every week, drinking, throwing yourself around people on a dance floor, smoking up, and having casual conversations that you’ll forget the next day that are mostly made up of lies for the sake of socializing?

This is almost a daily thing here in NJ/PA that you hear people bragging about all the time, everywhere, and then getting doted upon for their actions of such.

If you talk about how you read a book, wrote a story, did a paiting, or even played chess, people either make fun of you, or just say “oh”, and then walk away.

Don’t you want to talk about the plot of the book or story? Don’t you want to talk about the political and paycological subtext of it? Don’t you care to know the social statement behind the painting?

No. They all just want to know how many drinks you had, how loud the music was, and how many people you fucked.

Reblogged from beautifully--flawed-deactivated

source: up-torquemada

Jun 22, 2012

drvalkyrie:

catbountry:

NJ Doctor thinks gay patient deserves to die of AIDs.

bogleech:

I don’t usually call the internet to arms but REBLOG THE EVER LIVING FUCK OUT OF THIS.

Joao Simoes is HIV positive. He went to Trinitas Regional Medical Center in Elizabeth, NJ and for an undisclosed reason, was admitted to the mental health wing.

According to a complaint filed with the state of New Jersey, Dr. Borja of the Department of Behavioral Health and Psychiatry approached Simoes and after looking at his file, asked how he contracted HIV. His response was, ”I got it from unprotected sex.” The complaint then says that “Dr. Borga closed the plaintiff’s file, put it down and looked at plaintiff with disgust on her face and asked, coldly, “Is that from sex with men?”

Simoes says he responded affirmatively and that, “immediately after hearing this, Dr. Borga proceeded to exit the room.” After this consultation, no nurse or doctor came to see Simoes, even though he told them that he needed to take his HIV medication, according to the complaint. (source, Courthouse News Service)

According to Simoes, three days passed before he was allowed to contact his personal physician. It was at that time he learned that Borja had already spoken to his doctor. “You must be gay, too, if you’re his doctor,” accused Borga. “Additionally, apparently realizing that plaintiff’s doctor had an accent, Dr. Borga exclaimed, ‘What, do you need a translator?’ to which plaintiff’s doctor had again responded that Dr. Borga needed to give plaintiff his HIV medication,” the complaint states. “Dr. Borga responded to plaintiff’s doctor by stating, ‘This is what he gets for going against God’s will,’ and hung up the phone on plaintiff’s doctor.”

Borja even refused to allow Simoes’ sister to visit. His sister, did, however, leave HIV medicine at the nurses’ station. The nurses eventually gave the medicine to Simoes, but not before he had missed five doses.

HEY LOOK WHAT’S EASILY ACCESSIBLE TO THE PUBLIC:

DR. SUSAN V. BORJAS

TRINITAS REGIONAL MEDICAL CENTER

655 EAST JERSEY STREET, ELIZABETH NJ 07206

PHONE: (908) 994-7166

Don’t let this thing continue practicing medicine. Imagine a child’s life in the hands of this monstrosity.

Wow fuck that lady.

This woman does not deserve a medical license.

There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t say this…and this is going to be that time of the day right now: Fuckin’ New Jersey.

I fucking hate this goddamn son of a bitch ass state.

We have the worst people in medicine here. Shit like this goes on all the time.

I had a friend who, after having sex, realized that the condom broke. She went to get Plan B. The pharmacist scolded her with an attitude, “Next time use a condom!”

I have another friend who has such bad anxiety, that she needs to draw while in therapy in order to settle her mind and be receptive to what is being said to her. Her main therapist told her it was okay, and she encourages the drawing, but the second therapist in the room, after 3 months, told my friend that she needed to stop drawing, because SHE didn’t like people who drew (I’m NOT kidding).

Now my friend was unable to focus at all, and had to end up leaving the center she was at so that she could get new doctors because the therapist that bothered her about the drawing, kept harassing her thereafter.

My own experience? I was sexually abused by someone in my family when I was younger. Later in my life I was sexually molested by a “family friend”. The thought of pregnancy terrifies me. It was because of that, that fueled one of the reasons why I never wanted kids all my life.

At age 24 I finally got permission from my gynecologist (after asking for YEARS) to get a tubal ligation (doctor’s don’t want to do it on women for various NON-MEDICAL REASONS, especially if you haven’t had kids yet).

When I went to the hospital to get it done, the nurse assigned to me was more than nasty. She called me disgusting. She told me such things as, “I can’t believe you would do this to yourself.”

She went out and hugged my mom with huge sympathy while saying, “I hope you are okay with her doing this. You can talk to me if you need to. I’m sorry you will never have grandchildren.”

Thankfully I have an awesome mom, and she put the bitch in her place…

But still…I know the HIV situation is A LOT more severe than my stories, but I just need to point out that this unprofessional shit goes on in NJ all the time.

Well~ Signal boost for Joao Simoes too ♥